Teaching respect is one of the most important jobs we have as parents. The best way to teach children respect is show respect, not just to other adults but to your children.
Don’t confuse obedience with respect, fear also instills obedience.
Know this; if a child is not respectful at home, they are not going to be respectful outside of the home. Let’s take a look at ways to help teach your child respect.
Listen to Them and They Will Listen to You
When your child is talking to you are you listening or are you busy doing five other things? I am not saying multi-tasking is bad, but listen to what your child is saying. Pay attention to what they are doing. Everything else can wait a minute or two. Make eye contact with them. Ask yourself, how many times you have had to say, “Look at me when I am talking to you,” and then think about how often you look at them when they are talking. Let them know they are important to you and worth taking a time to pay attention to, and then they will do the same to you and others.
Honesty is the Best Policy
Is it possible to respect a liar? Would you lie to someone that you respect? I don’t think so. If you do something wrong, admit it and apologize for it. While it may change the perception that our younger children have of us that we are perfect, it will show them that even mom and dad make mistakes and when they do they are able to admit it and apologize for it.
Jennifer Shakeel
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I wanted to quickly take time to close out my thoughts on our family value for last month which was RESPECT. I am glad we took an extra month with the kids on this one. It is definitely a repeater. One that needs to be honed in on quite often. We did pretty well with it.
The best thing I learned though, and really took to heart is what I highlighted in blue above. Not to confuse obedience with respect. That one sentence really goes along with the foundation of the gospel principal of free agency and choice. It gives us self empowerment, choice AND accountability.
The past couple of weeks we found ourselves reminding one another that we were easily forgetting to be respectful towards each other. Yet it was in the little daily things that I noticed we made such progress. Kinder voices and smoother days were had by us all. The kids really listened. We even started family scripture study 5 nights a week. Todd thought, no way will they sit after dinner and listen. But they did. They are. We keep it to a chapter a night, and sure enough they have learned to sit and listen while we sit around the table. Just 10 extra minutes. It worked! Even during one of the busiest times of the night- and I think it did, because we have been able to incorporate at a time when the value we were working on, went along with learning to have more respect and reverence. Happy days. They have been good reminders to Todd and I about things we as parents need to work on. As we have listened to their thoughts, and slowed down to show more respect to them as valued members of our family, they have showing us increased respect.
I also learned that even though there were times that Tyson was asked to do something and he said no thank you at times, even though he ended up having to mind and do it most of the time- I realized that he was respectful and polite in his responses. Also, even though Alyssa had times of pouting and pulling fits- especially when she couldn’t go with daddy in grandpa’s truck with the boys :0) – Once I finally got her in the car and was able to talk with her, she would calm down and I could explain why she couldn’t go. I couldn’t be mad at her for her feelings of sadness. But I could explain that she needed to learn how express herself better and that is showing more respect.
I have also created a file for each of these values and have printed out some very good information on line and from books that I am able to share with our family as we study our values. With this value, I found some really great stuff. By having these materials, I am able to build one on top of another and quick reference something that I want to continue to focus on.
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